The Feedback Loop

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Types of Feedback

Over the years, I’ve experienced a lot of different forms of feedback on my writing—from encouraging rejection notes to varied insights in workshops and in-depth analysis from a mentor. Most of this has been helpful. I would not be the writer I am without that support. And yet, some of the feedback was not helpful. What makes the difference?

False Praise

When a person is beginning any creative endeavour, they benefit most from encouragement. It’s okay if this is your stage to seek out a group that will give you what you need. But as you grow, you will find that praise only takes a person so far. Don’t get me wrong. Encouragement is always helpful and it’s important when giving and receiving feedback to include careful consideration of what is working well, but facing down what is not working helps us grow too.

I’ve been part of writing groups where participants buy into an unspoken agreement that no one will say anything critical. The result is often false praise, which not only fails to help but may actually cause harm. We all know when we’re getting the sugar treatment because it leaves a bad taste in the mouth and having received insincere flattery can make it harder to know when people are being sincere.

Being Read

I can’t speak for you, but the number one thing I want when I ask anyone for feedback is to be read. It sounds simple and yet it is often overlooked. We jump straight into criticism without stopping to share the reading experience that grounds it.

Helpful feedback begins with taking the writer on your reading experience. Simple questions do the job. What is the story about? Which parts of the story intrigued you? What would you like to know more about?

I appreciate it a lot when people share this with me. It might be an occupational hazard of being a writer—the assumption that what I felt while writing is what other people feel when reading. There is only one way to learn whether that is even close to being true.

Hope and Attention

We must invest in our reading of someone else’s work the same degree of hope and attention we give to our own. This entails careful thinking about specific examples and practical suggestions, looking for what works well with as much energy as looking for what might be improved. A hefty dose of humility is essential too, not only in receiving feedback but in giving it too. A sound place to start is by admitting your thoughts are only ideas and you may be wrong.

Before you give feedback to anyone, take a breath and ask yourself what you would like if the positions were reversed. Imagine the attachment you feel to your work, the fragility of your confidence, the sincere ambition to improve. Then proceed with tenderness.

An Energy Loop, Really?

Not that long ago, a writer whose work I greatly respect asked for feedback on their book-length manuscript. It was an honour to be able to give back to a person who has been generous and helpful to me. At the same time, it was complex navigating the balance between friendship and feedback.

As I completed the request, the discomfort and tenderness I felt began to seem essential to the process. I’ve come to think of feedback as not a thing given from one person to another but as an energy that flows between them, which I like to call the feedback loop.

Learning How to Give Feedback

Feedback is fundamental to our growth not only as writers, but as human beings. We give and receive feedback on practically a daily basis. There’s an assumption we know how to do it, as if simply by virtue of being human, we have mastered this skill.

And yet, I do not think so. I’ve seen what can go wrong often enough. Relationships can be broken and creative spirits can be needlessly burdened if this skill is not practised with care. No, the ability to give and receive feedback is not innate. It is an advanced level skill that needs constant practice and devotion.

What has been your experience with feedback? I’d love to hear from you.